The Oval Pizza

Yesterday my bestie and I were sitting on the couch watching Friends on TV while watching Friends bloopers on YouTube. A commercial for Pizza Hut's new Big Italy pizza came on and you know college kids, we hadn't eaten pizza in 40 hours and we got really, really excited for this OVAL pizza. Pizza in the shape of an oval?? We've eaten more circles than you can imagine, even the occasional square or rectangle, but an OVAL?! We had to order one, especially since you can get 3 toppings for only 12 DOLLARS!!!

It's amazing what excites us. Anyway, because we are identical pizza twins, we wanted the same three toppings and were able to blast through that, which is usually the most difficult step in obtaining a pizza, right away.

The next step was locating the nearest Pizza Hut. Thank goodness Garmond the GPS was sitting on the table. The next logical step is to call the Pizza Hut, right? That's where it gets interesting.

I dial my phone...

"Thanks for calling mumble mumble Hut mumble mumble mumble hold?"

"Uh, sure." (I was put on hold and so put my phone on speaker because I hate holding the phone to my head when there isn't a conversation going on.)

"Thanks for mumble mumble this is mumble mumble mumble help you?" (I didn't mind the disgruntled teenager on the other end, because trying to guess what she was saying only added to the fun of ordering the pizza. Everything is a game to me and my BFF.)

"Yeah, I'd like to place an order for delivery. We'll have the big Italy with sausage, pepperoni, and onions and the address is-"

"What's the phone number?"

"Oh. Um, [I give her my phone number]. And the address is-"

"Can you hang on a sec?"

"Sure."

There is nothing but distant voices on the line. I can tell this poor girl is very perplexed by the complexity of my order. Three toppings is a lot, I understand.

"What's your number again?"

I give it to her again.

"Ok, one minute."

I feel so popular due to this fascination Pizza Hut has with my phone number. You're like a celebrity, I tell myself.

"Um....ok. We don't have a record of your phone number. When do you think you ordered the pizza?"

"I'm trying to order right now!" (My friends and I are trying to stifle our laughter.) "I'm sorry for the confusion."

"Oh. Ok. So what did you want?"

I say my order again. Now we move onto the moment when I'm supposed to give her my credit card number. This number is 6 digits longer than my telephone number, so I'm anticipating the struggle that awaits me.

I give her my card number.

"Can you repeat that?"

"Sure." I give it to her again, more slowly than the first time.

"Ok, so you said..." She begins to recite my credit card to me. She got 3 numbers right. Not too bad.

"Not quite." I recite the number again.

It only takes two more times to get it right. I give her the address because she finally lets me, and hang up the phone, exhausted.

P.S. Pizza in the shape of an oval tastes exactly the same.