The reason elevator music was invented.

I'm convinced elevators and restrooms are the two most awkward public places and there is absolutely no reason why they should be.

Case #1: The Elevator
As soon as you step into an elevator, your mouth shuts and your eyes immediately shoot downward. Don't deny it. It doesn't even matter if you're with a friend and telling an animated story, because as soon as you walk through those doors you shut up. Why is that? Do people not want to be seen riding an elevator? Is that why every person avoids eye contact like it's the kiss of death? Is it an embarrassment to ride an elevator and no one informed me of this? Why am i always kept in the dark?! Why are we who grew up in Iowa so uncultured?!?? That must be the reason people look at me funny when I try to make eye contact, tell a joke, or you know- treat them like they EXIST. I guess I forgot general kindness isn't the way to go.

Anyway, that's why there's elevator music. It covers up the God-awful awkward silence so people don't have to think about how awkward they're being. It's very similar to a party situation now that I think about it. The music there is so ridiculously loud that you cannot hear yourself think and it gets you out of conversations with people whom you'd much rather down that bottle of hot sauce than be forced to talk to. "What? I can't hear you!!!! Sorry! I gotta go!"

Case #2: The public restroom
This is really quite comical to me. NO ONE wants to be recognized in a public restroom. Even if you see someone you know and you're able to squeak out a "Hey, so-and-so from Bio lab," more often than not you'll get a response mumbled beyond recognition. This must be the other party's attempt to make you seem like the crazy one.

'Maybe if I make my response either so incredibly unrecognizable by someone well-versed in the English language or simply inaudible, this person will not be sure I'm actually here,'the embarrassed other thinks to herself. 'And then that person will begin to question whether I was ever here in the first place! Brilliant!' [Now sprint out the swinging door of death and violently open it into the poor soul about to walk into the bathroom, usually me.]

It's as if people want to be known as that one person in the world who doesn't have to use the bathroom. My Daddy is paying good money for my education in the human health sciences, and just quit the nonsense already- I've got you all figured out. That's why I am always so tempted to shout, "You go, girl!" to that rare individual who just takes care of business, unashamed, unrestricted.

And for these reasons, starting tomorrow and for the rest of the summer I propose challenge number one to myself: I will make eye contact, say hello, and force a response from someone I see in an elevator or public restroom, regardless of how hard they fight my attempt.